Do You Want To Get Well?

Today I was reading in the book of John and came across a verse that I had read before so many times but today it really jumped out at me.

The verse is found in John Chapter 5 where Jesus is in Jerusalem and meets an invalid who is waiting to be healed. This particular man had been waiting 38 years to be healed. And Jesus simply asks him "do you want to get well?" (John 5:6)

"Do you want to get well?"
6 words that say it all. Of course this man is going to respond "YES! I want to get well" Why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't this invalid man want to live a life that is free from an ailing body?
And yet, he comes up with excuses instead. "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me" answers the man.

This is my life to a T. So often I allow myself to wallow in my own self pity. Or I become so obsessed with a new fad that I cannot seem to pull myself out of it, even when it leads me to sin. I allow myself to come up with excuse after excuse. "I'll have a quiet time tomorrow"..."Everyone else is doing it"..."It's too hard"..."I don't have enought time"...etc, etc, etc.

Do you want to get well?

Of course I want to get well. Of course I want to live a life that is glorifying to God. Of course I want to be free from sin.


Do you want to get well?
What if getting well means having to end a bad relationship?
What if it means sacrificing sleep so that I can get up early to pray and worship?
What if it means that I have to deny my desires?
What if it means that I have to humble myself and admit my weakness?
Do I really want to do all of that to be well again?

Getting well means that I have to confess my sin and turn from it. I waste so much time and energy being bitter, or avoiding situations, or trying to pretend that what I'm doing is ok. And I can't see how sick and weak it is making me spiritually.
The invalid in the story wasted 38 years...how much time have I wasted?

And then Jesus commands the invalid "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." And just like that the invalid is healed. Jesus gives the command but the invalid makes the decision to get up and believe.

Jesus does the same for us. He died for us and he commands that we live according to the will of his Father. But it is our job to take our mats: our lives, our gifts, our relationships, and do something with them.

Do you want to get well?
What's holding you back?

Fall in Pictures

A few weeks ago, my friend Jill and I went on an adventure around Eau Claire to take pictures and say goodbye. This is one of the signs outside Hibbard Hall (where the majority of my classes were during school).




Here's a picture of the Senior women at the Campus Crusade Fall Retreat. It was my fifth year at Fall Retreat and I have really grown to love these women.



This was my Spanish III class at Osseo-Fairchild High School. There were only 10 students in the class, but we had a lot of fun. It was a hard transition to move into a new school in Eau Claire after such a great experience at Osseo-Fairchild.

December alreday?

Honestly, I do not know where November went. The month flew by!

So what has changed in my life?

Well to start things off, my roommate and I have moved. After trying very hard to find sub-leasers, we were successful! They wanted to move in on December 1st. We were so desperate to find someone to take it that we agreed. And then a family from Katie's church invited us to live with them!
We officially moved in on November 30th and it has been such a blessing so far. We share a room and a bathroom, get to participate in family meals and have a warm house to come home to at the end of the day. This especially has been great for me seeing as that I've been fighting off a nasty little cold the past few days and it feels like I'm back at home!

In other news, I'm at 18% so far for support. It has been difficult to put 100% effort into raising support since I'm student teaching from 7am-3:30 pm every day, working part time at Scheels, leading a bible study, and trying to have a social life! 18% is a great place to be and it's really challenging me to put all of my trust in the Lord. I know that He has called me to Honduras and He will provide for me.

Plan, plan, plan

I am a planner. I always have been, and although college has done a number on how much I plan/worry about planning, I believe that I always will be.

I was talking to my friend Sarah about this the other night. We like to plan. We like to know what we should do first, second, etc. and we like to know at the end of the day that our future is somewhat figured out. I don't believe that this is putting God in a box at all. I 100% believe that He created me to be a little more organized than my friends. I know that He uses my "plans" to tweak my future.
I believe this so much that I had it tattooed on my foot.

Yes I have a tattoo. On the instep of my right foot is a little footprint and the reference to Proverbs 16:9. This verse simply reads "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
Over the past two years, this verse has helped me remember that it is all right for me to dream. It is ok for me to have hopes and ambitions and to pursue them. It is fine if I make plans for myself....

...as long as I write in pencil.

Because the other thing that my tattoo reminds me is that the Lord is still in TOTAL CONTROL of my steps. He directs my life. I can go ahead and pick my "end points" but that doesn't mean that I will arrive there as I had planned, or that I'll arrive at them at all.

If you had asked me a year ago what my plans were after graduation, it would have gone a little something like this:
"Well I don't really know where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do but I really want to teach English as a Second Language and maybe travel during the summer."

Little did I know that I'd be teaching English in Honduras and that my "travel in the summer" would be traveling back home to visit my family and friends here! I never would have chosen this specific path for my life because I wasn't opening my eyes to that possibility. That's why it's so much better for the Lord to be in control of my life...He can see the big picture!

It is comforting to know that the Lord is looking out for me and my plans. He gives me the freedom to dream and hope and wish and plan, but in the end He watches over my steps and directs my feet and my heart. And I put all my trust in Him because He promises that His plan for our lives is so much better than anything that we could plan for ourselves.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11

One Pure and Holy Passion

Last night at our weekly meeting we sang a beautiful song and I can't get the lyrics out of my head.
It's called "One Pure and Holy Passion" and it is a prayer up to God that He would give us one passion, one ambition, one obsession in our lives that will draw us closer to Him. How beautiful it is to know that if we really open our lives up to the Lord, if we really desire to follow Him, then He will direct our lives and will give us a passion that we can follow.

This is an encouraging song for me, because the past few years I have always wondered where the Lord would call me after college, what my purpose would be on this Earth. And He replied by giving me a passion for the Spanish language, a passion for the world, and a passion for adolescents. So what better place to be than in Honduras!?

Later in the song is states "this world is empty, pale, and poor compared to knowing you my Lord". WOW. It's so true. No matter how "happy" we are with our lives, if we don't have a deep relationship with Christ, it is empty and void of true living.

It really makes me question what I'm living for. Am I living for my paycheck? Am I living for the next "big adventure"? Am I living for a husband, a family? Or am I truly living for Christ? Because if I'm not living for Him everyday, then my world is empty, pale and cold. And who would want to live that way?

Urgency

Welcome to the first day of fall!

Fall is my favorite season in Wisconsin because of the weather, the colors and all the activities like football, corn mazes, and being outside.

But I was reminded today at just how fast time is going. I am starting my 4th week of student teaching and October is just around the corner. Thinking about how fast time is flying has caused me to stop and think about what lies ahead at the end of this semester.

I will finish up my student teaching January 22nd and then sometime in early February I hope to hop on a plane to Honduras. However, classes end December 18th for the University students so my friends and the girls in my bible study will be heading home in 3 months.
That means only 12 more bible studies to pour into these girls. Only 11 more Saturdays to hang out and catch up on life. Only 11 more Sundays to bring them to church. Only 11 more weeks for me to really teach these women what it means to follow Christ.

Now that's it's broken down like that, my sense of urgency increases. I want to impart my wisdom onto the young sophomore women that I lead. And I want to encourage and uplift my fellow leaders before I leave this University, this city, and this country!

But this also makes me stop and think about the urgency in this world. As Christians, we are living on borrowed time. We do not know when we will die, but we also do not know when Christ will return. Because I don't know any of this, I want to be living every day to its fullest. Telling people about Christ and what He has done in my life. I want to be living out God's will for my life EACH AND EVERY DAY that I am on this Earth.

Are we truly living each day with a sense of urgenc? What is preventing us from living every day as if Christ were coming tomorrow?

Teacher for a Day

The reason that I didn't just stay in Honduras is that I had to come back to UW-Eau Claire and finish my last semester. Since I am an education major, that means a semester student teaching.

Today was my first day at Osseo-Fairchild Middle/High School and I thought I would share a few of my thoughts from throughout the day.

7:45 AM~ Is it too early to be drinking Diet Coke? And if I'm already caffeinating myself before the students even get here, what am I going to be like at the end of the day?

8:15 AM~ A student walks in and asks a question to Miss Hutjens. It takes me a while to figure out that she is talking to me!

11:30 AM~ Bringing a lunch to school every day is going to be difficult for me. Especially when I'm used to eating between college classes...trying to get back into the High School routine is hard after I've been spoiled by a college schedule.

12:45 PM~ SURPRISE! One of our periods was double booked...at this point I'm thanking God that I have a CT (Cooperating Teacher) to take care of that problem.

2:04 PM~ My Spanish IV class shows up. There are three of them. I think this will be fun, until they fly through all the activities I had planned. (Note to self: plan harder activities that take longer)

2:48 PM~ I'm watching 7 kids in Study Hall. Three of them are sleeping on the floor. I wish I could do the same...a nap sound so great right about now. (I think the Diet Coke wore off about 3 hours ago)

Those are the thoughts directly from my mind. My friend Jill stopped by on Monday night and we got to talking about what we were going to wear to school for the first day. We agreed that we have to be super careful or the kids will "tear us apart" (Jill's words, not mine). Who would have thought I'd be self-conscious going back to High School again?! I guess every experience is a learning opportunity!