I thought October would be a big month of blogging. But things have been a little crazy.
Here's a quick run-down on life at the Villa in October.
Life is crazy. People come and go and sometimes it feels like a revolving door but God always provides just enough people so I don't feel like I'm going crazy.
Things break. Sometimes they cost a lot of money to fix but then God provides money or other solutions so that when the water pump breaks, we don't get dehydrated.
Kids fight and then they're angels and then they fight again. Sometimes they have to be punished. Sometimes they cry. Miss Katie is not a huge fan of any of these things (except for the being angels part).
To sum it up. God is always in control and I am learning to be content no matter what the circumstances.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
~Philippians 4:11-12
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Think, Act, Feel
I am often accused of thinking too much. I mean, it's probably true, but there is a lot to think of in this ministry. Especially right now.
Three of the three directors are currently not in the country. Or to rephrase, our directors who make decisions on day-to-day activities are NOT HERE. Hae Young won't be back until November 10th which means I'm in charge of decisions at the Villa and coordinating life with Saira and Marlyn who are running Jericho in Tegucigalpa.
Being a "boss" is harder than I thought and there are so many little things that I hadn't thought about before. Plus, money isn't exactly flowing in right now so we are making all the decisions on a budget...a very tight budget to be honest.
So I think that you will forgive me for "thinking too much" as I rode the bus back to the Villa. 1 1/2 hours on a bus plus a 15-minute hike up the mountain to think.
TO THINK...
To think about paying the gate keeper and her sons who are working for us. To think about how we are going to buy groceries. To think about how Eduardo is going to drive the van back to Tegus without any gas in it...to wonder if there's enough to get to the nearest gas station 20 minutes away. To think about scheduling staff breaks, and holidays when the teacher won't be coming. To think about the fact that the electricity bill hasn't been paid in a month, maybe two...will they come this week to shut it off? To think, to think, to think.
And then I arrive.
And then I arrive at the Villa. All the thoughts have weighed me down more than my backpack. I don't really want to come home to all this decision making. I don't want to deal with more tears or kids acting out. I want to take a nap.
But alas, it is 1 pm, school has let out and it's time to face the reality that any minute 9 kids are going to come running at me talking at once. One will for sure be crying, one will be tattling, one will be defending himself, one will be defending the one being tattled on, one will be angry, one will be indifferent about the fact that she was kicked out of school yesterday, one will be stressed about about all the homework the teacher left behind...did I forget some? Two will slip through the cracks, avoiding my gaze...are they hiding something or was the day uneventful thus far?
TO ACT...
I have two possible actions. I can choose to be an active participant in the lives of these kids. Or I can choose to be passive and let them talk at me instead of to me. On this day, I choose the second. I don't have the energy...maybe Miriam and Eduardo do.
Avoiding all day. Going through the routines. Still thinking, still thinking, still thinking. Not worrying...just thinking.
And then it's dark. The stars are out and we decide to have some prayer and praise outside. Eduardo with his guitar leading worship. And I feel it. God's presence. The Holy Spirit's presence. The thinking stops and I am free to worship my Creator, thanking Him for the blessings of this day. It is freeing!
And we start to pray. First Hermana Rosa reminding us of God's wonderful provisions and beseeching God to continue to provide. To pour out His blessings on us. Thanking Him in advance for what He is going to do.
Next come the kids...praying for their families. Normally the kids prayers are short and almost robotic. But not tonight. They too are overcome by the presence of the Spirit. They are on their knees praying to God for their families, for their friends, for God to change their own lives. I have never heard such heart-felt prayers from our kids.
And then one of our girls begins to pray. With each prayer her voice begins to waver until she is outright sobbing. Rosa moves into catch her as she drops to her knees crying out to God to help her forgive the abuses committed against her by her family. And then praying for each family member that they would come to know God's love the way she does. A beautiful and mature prayer from a beautiful young woman.
TO FEEL…
As tears build up in my eyes, I look around the circle at our pieced-together family. I am so proud of these kids. They are changing. They are overcoming horrible experiences and are learning to forgive and to love. And they are looking to their Savior through all of it.
I am not here to think. I am here to feel.
I am here to love these children. I am here to be their mother, their aunt, their sister, their cousin, whomever they need in the moment. I am here to provide them with the love and security and protection that their own families could not.
I can think all day and the problems won't be solved.
Or I can choose to feel. To let God control my emotions. I can choose to give love and joy to the kids. And in His perfect timing, God will do the rest.
A long day filled with thinking and frustration. And completely redeemed by the God who loves us, and cherishes us, and provides for us. What could be better?
Three of the three directors are currently not in the country. Or to rephrase, our directors who make decisions on day-to-day activities are NOT HERE. Hae Young won't be back until November 10th which means I'm in charge of decisions at the Villa and coordinating life with Saira and Marlyn who are running Jericho in Tegucigalpa.
Being a "boss" is harder than I thought and there are so many little things that I hadn't thought about before. Plus, money isn't exactly flowing in right now so we are making all the decisions on a budget...a very tight budget to be honest.
So I think that you will forgive me for "thinking too much" as I rode the bus back to the Villa. 1 1/2 hours on a bus plus a 15-minute hike up the mountain to think.
TO THINK...
To think about paying the gate keeper and her sons who are working for us. To think about how we are going to buy groceries. To think about how Eduardo is going to drive the van back to Tegus without any gas in it...to wonder if there's enough to get to the nearest gas station 20 minutes away. To think about scheduling staff breaks, and holidays when the teacher won't be coming. To think about the fact that the electricity bill hasn't been paid in a month, maybe two...will they come this week to shut it off? To think, to think, to think.
And then I arrive.
And then I arrive at the Villa. All the thoughts have weighed me down more than my backpack. I don't really want to come home to all this decision making. I don't want to deal with more tears or kids acting out. I want to take a nap.
But alas, it is 1 pm, school has let out and it's time to face the reality that any minute 9 kids are going to come running at me talking at once. One will for sure be crying, one will be tattling, one will be defending himself, one will be defending the one being tattled on, one will be angry, one will be indifferent about the fact that she was kicked out of school yesterday, one will be stressed about about all the homework the teacher left behind...did I forget some? Two will slip through the cracks, avoiding my gaze...are they hiding something or was the day uneventful thus far?
TO ACT...
I have two possible actions. I can choose to be an active participant in the lives of these kids. Or I can choose to be passive and let them talk at me instead of to me. On this day, I choose the second. I don't have the energy...maybe Miriam and Eduardo do.
Avoiding all day. Going through the routines. Still thinking, still thinking, still thinking. Not worrying...just thinking.
And then it's dark. The stars are out and we decide to have some prayer and praise outside. Eduardo with his guitar leading worship. And I feel it. God's presence. The Holy Spirit's presence. The thinking stops and I am free to worship my Creator, thanking Him for the blessings of this day. It is freeing!
And we start to pray. First Hermana Rosa reminding us of God's wonderful provisions and beseeching God to continue to provide. To pour out His blessings on us. Thanking Him in advance for what He is going to do.
Next come the kids...praying for their families. Normally the kids prayers are short and almost robotic. But not tonight. They too are overcome by the presence of the Spirit. They are on their knees praying to God for their families, for their friends, for God to change their own lives. I have never heard such heart-felt prayers from our kids.
And then one of our girls begins to pray. With each prayer her voice begins to waver until she is outright sobbing. Rosa moves into catch her as she drops to her knees crying out to God to help her forgive the abuses committed against her by her family. And then praying for each family member that they would come to know God's love the way she does. A beautiful and mature prayer from a beautiful young woman.
TO FEEL…
As tears build up in my eyes, I look around the circle at our pieced-together family. I am so proud of these kids. They are changing. They are overcoming horrible experiences and are learning to forgive and to love. And they are looking to their Savior through all of it.
I am not here to think. I am here to feel.
I am here to love these children. I am here to be their mother, their aunt, their sister, their cousin, whomever they need in the moment. I am here to provide them with the love and security and protection that their own families could not.
I can think all day and the problems won't be solved.
Or I can choose to feel. To let God control my emotions. I can choose to give love and joy to the kids. And in His perfect timing, God will do the rest.
A long day filled with thinking and frustration. And completely redeemed by the God who loves us, and cherishes us, and provides for us. What could be better?
Saturday, October 2, 2010
This is my Life...
...and I'm ok with that now.
It's been almost eight months and I'm just now getting to the part of "rolling with the punches". This is how life goes at the Villa. It is disorganized. It is chaotic. It is frustrating. And it is beautiful. It is faith-stretching. It is wonderful and crazy and a whole rang of emotions.
Here's a few pictures from our "lazy Saturday".
Josue's futbol (soccer) stadium. Complete with seats, goalposts and players.
The girls and Josue made quite a mess but it was so fun to watch them all play legos together without fighting!
Emanuel reading to Noe. We definitely had a calm morning without too much screaming.
This is a picture from last week. Sara has turned into our resident bat killer. The intention was not to kill the bats, but unfortunely they wouldn't leave the house.
It's been almost eight months and I'm just now getting to the part of "rolling with the punches". This is how life goes at the Villa. It is disorganized. It is chaotic. It is frustrating. And it is beautiful. It is faith-stretching. It is wonderful and crazy and a whole rang of emotions.
Here's a few pictures from our "lazy Saturday".
Josue's futbol (soccer) stadium. Complete with seats, goalposts and players.
The girls and Josue made quite a mess but it was so fun to watch them all play legos together without fighting!
Emanuel reading to Noe. We definitely had a calm morning without too much screaming.
This is a picture from last week. Sara has turned into our resident bat killer. The intention was not to kill the bats, but unfortunely they wouldn't leave the house.
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