Thursday, October 28, 2010

October in a Flash

I thought October would be a big month of blogging. But things have been a little crazy.

Here's a quick run-down on life at the Villa in October.

Life is crazy. People come and go and sometimes it feels like a revolving door but God always provides just enough people so I don't feel like I'm going crazy.

Things break. Sometimes they cost a lot of money to fix but then God provides money or other solutions so that when the water pump breaks, we don't get dehydrated.

Kids fight and then they're angels and then they fight again. Sometimes they have to be punished. Sometimes they cry. Miss Katie is not a huge fan of any of these things (except for the being angels part).

To sum it up. God is always in control and I am learning to be content no matter what the circumstances.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
~Philippians 4:11-12

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Think, Act, Feel

I am often accused of thinking too much. I mean, it's probably true, but there is a lot to think of in this ministry. Especially right now.

Three of the three directors are currently not in the country. Or to rephrase, our directors who make decisions on day-to-day activities are NOT HERE. Hae Young won't be back until November 10th which means I'm in charge of decisions at the Villa and coordinating life with Saira and Marlyn who are running Jericho in Tegucigalpa.

Being a "boss" is harder than I thought and there are so many little things that I hadn't thought about before. Plus, money isn't exactly flowing in right now so we are making all the decisions on a budget...a very tight budget to be honest.

So I think that you will forgive me for "thinking too much" as I rode the bus back to the Villa. 1 1/2 hours on a bus plus a 15-minute hike up the mountain to think.

TO THINK...
To think about paying the gate keeper and her sons who are working for us. To think about how we are going to buy groceries. To think about how Eduardo is going to drive the van back to Tegus without any gas in it...to wonder if there's enough to get to the nearest gas station 20 minutes away. To think about scheduling staff breaks, and holidays when the teacher won't be coming. To think about the fact that the electricity bill hasn't been paid in a month, maybe two...will they come this week to shut it off? To think, to think, to think.

And then I arrive.

And then I arrive at the Villa. All the thoughts have weighed me down more than my backpack. I don't really want to come home to all this decision making. I don't want to deal with more tears or kids acting out. I want to take a nap.

But alas, it is 1 pm, school has let out and it's time to face the reality that any minute 9 kids are going to come running at me talking at once. One will for sure be crying, one will be tattling, one will be defending himself, one will be defending the one being tattled on, one will be angry, one will be indifferent about the fact that she was kicked out of school yesterday, one will be stressed about about all the homework the teacher left behind...did I forget some? Two will slip through the cracks, avoiding my gaze...are they hiding something or was the day uneventful thus far?

TO ACT...
I have two possible actions. I can choose to be an active participant in the lives of these kids. Or I can choose to be passive and let them talk at me instead of to me. On this day, I choose the second. I don't have the energy...maybe Miriam and Eduardo do.

Avoiding all day. Going through the routines. Still thinking, still thinking, still thinking. Not worrying...just thinking.


And then it's dark. The stars are out and we decide to have some prayer and praise outside. Eduardo with his guitar leading worship. And I feel it. God's presence. The Holy Spirit's presence. The thinking stops and I am free to worship my Creator, thanking Him for the blessings of this day. It is freeing!

And we start to pray. First Hermana Rosa reminding us of God's wonderful provisions and beseeching God to continue to provide. To pour out His blessings on us. Thanking Him in advance for what He is going to do.

Next come the kids...praying for their families. Normally the kids prayers are short and almost robotic. But not tonight. They too are overcome by the presence of the Spirit. They are on their knees praying to God for their families, for their friends, for God to change their own lives. I have never heard such heart-felt prayers from our kids.

And then one of our girls begins to pray. With each prayer her voice begins to waver until she is outright sobbing. Rosa moves into catch her as she drops to her knees crying out to God to help her forgive the abuses committed against her by her family. And then praying for each family member that they would come to know God's love the way she does. A beautiful and mature prayer from a beautiful young woman.


TO FEEL…
As tears build up in my eyes, I look around the circle at our pieced-together family. I am so proud of these kids. They are changing. They are overcoming horrible experiences and are learning to forgive and to love. And they are looking to their Savior through all of it.

I am not here to think. I am here to feel.
I am here to love these children. I am here to be their mother, their aunt, their sister, their cousin, whomever they need in the moment. I am here to provide them with the love and security and protection that their own families could not.

I can think all day and the problems won't be solved.
Or I can choose to feel. To let God control my emotions. I can choose to give love and joy to the kids. And in His perfect timing, God will do the rest.

A long day filled with thinking and frustration. And completely redeemed by the God who loves us, and cherishes us, and provides for us. What could be better?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

This is my Life...

...and I'm ok with that now.
It's been almost eight months and I'm just now getting to the part of "rolling with the punches". This is how life goes at the Villa. It is disorganized. It is chaotic. It is frustrating. And it is beautiful. It is faith-stretching. It is wonderful and crazy and a whole rang of emotions.

Here's a few pictures from our "lazy Saturday".




Josue's futbol (soccer) stadium. Complete with seats, goalposts and players.


The girls and Josue made quite a mess but it was so fun to watch them all play legos together without fighting!


Emanuel reading to Noe. We definitely had a calm morning without too much screaming.


This is a picture from last week. Sara has turned into our resident bat killer. The intention was not to kill the bats, but unfortunely they wouldn't leave the house.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

loveloveLOVElovelove

What do I really know about love?

Not so much.

Love is a noun
We see this in verses like 2 Peter 4:8 where "love covers a multitude of sin" and Corinthians 13:13 ("Still these three remain: faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love)")

Love is a verb
Love is a VERB. It is something we DO. In Spanish, the verb "to love" has three translations. (Kind of makes you feel like English is missing out, huh?)


Love is a command
Well, when you say it that way, it seems a little more intense. God commands us to love one another and love others as we love ourselves. That's where it gets hard, because if I truly want to be Christ-like, then I have to follow the commands of God.

And following God's commands isn't just a pick-and-choose kind of game.

So where does that leave me?

It's easy to love my parents and my friends, because they are nice to me and they love me back.

It is an entire matter completely to love these kids when I am living with them 24/7.
How do you love a 16-year old girls who hates listening to authority and thinks she's above getting a hug?
How do you love a kid who is always yelling and fighting for your attention?
How do you love a girl who cries because she doesn't want to study, do chores, etc?
How do you love the two brothers who are so lazy that they'd rather wear dirty clothes than do laundry?

I think the answer is: I can't....
I am completely unable to love these kids because I am human. We love conditionally. It is easy to love those who love us and treat us well. But it is so challenging to love those who are "rough around the edges" or who drive us crazy.

...but God can.
Luckily for me (and the kids), God loves us unconditionally. He doesn't care what we've done in the past, He doesn't mind when we're in a crabby mood, all that matters is that we are His children and He loves us.

And so, when I am truly walking with God and communicating with Him and doing His will...well then, things get pretty great. Because God knows that I can't love these kids, and so He sends me a double portion (some days a triple portion) of His love. And the love overflows from me to the kids.

Give me your eyes for just one second
Over the last few weeks, God has been giving me His eyes to see the kids and it has been incredible! Each day I am able to see past the faults and frustrations that the kids give me. I can see insecure teenage girls, homesick little boys, children who really are trying to do well. And most importantly, I can see a bunch of little kids who just want to be loved. All they want is for me to love them.

I can't love them with the unconditional love that they want. Only God can...and we teach them that each day. But I can love them with as much love as I have.

We love because God first loved us. Amen to that.

Friday, September 10, 2010

We're Celebrating WHAT??

I've been in Honduras for about 7 months now and I still don't understand their holidays. Honestly, it seems like there is a holiday for everything (and by holiday I mean full-fledged "don't go to work or school", "throw a party...with a pinata", kind of holiday.

Here are a few:

Lempira - From what I gather, he is an Indian Chief that fought against the Spanish conquesters
Day of the Pine Tree - it's the national tree
Day of the Student
Day of Teacher
Day of the Workers - I'll give them that because we celebrate that in the States too
Day of Soldier - different than Labor or Memorial or Independence Day (they have all those too)

Ok...you get my point. We constantly have days off. Today we celebrated The Day of the Child and next week the kids have the full week off to celebrate.

I don't understand...
I am very confused as to why there are so many holidays here. I think the Hondurans really like their pinatas.

...but I'm not going to complain...
I mean, hey - who doesn't love beating the candy out of paper-mache and wire? And really, who is going to say no to a little party?

...in fact, I'm going to embrace it...
I caved in. I bought the kids pencils that say "My Teacher Loves Me", and I helped load them up on sugar. I may regret it later tonight when they refuse to go to sleep, but right now I'm their Number One English Teacher!!

..but there's still work to be done.
I had no idea that this coming week was a break. So naturally I have English class planned. I think we'll have it anyways. I mean, if I have to be with the kids all day, they might as well learn something!

Eduardo, Miriam and I are putting on our game faces for the week ahead. I think it's going to be a zone-defense kind of week!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Got Milk?

The "old me" totally would have freaked out today.

That's what I told Miriam upon my late arrival to the Villa yesterday. I arrived at 4pm...the orignal plan was for me to arrive before noon.

What's my excuse?...I got stuck in traffic?
To say I got stuck in traffic would be an understatement. But I think we're most upset about the milk.

But let's start at the beginning.

8 pm Monday night: As Elvia drops me off at home after bible study, she mentions that I will have to leave Tegus at 5 am the next morning. "There is going to be a paro" she says. Paro = stop, aka the unions and maybe the transportation is refusing to work until the government changes minimim wage. This may or may not be an empty threat, but if it happens, the police will close off the exits and entrances to the city. Better if I leave early and beat the police to the exits. Normally this wouldn't be a problem since I'm already up at 5 am, but we are out of milk at the Villa. If I leave at 5am, there will be no place to buy milk and I will return empty-handed.

9:30 pm: Betsy calls me. The attendant at the gas-station says there won't be a paro tomorrow. I don't have to leave at 5 am. I am confused as to why we are relying on the information from a stranger at the gas station, but I am thankful that I can go to the grocery store and get milk.

10:30 am Monday morning: After running errands and picking up 4 gallons of milk for the Villa, I head out of town. About 2 songs into my journey, I realize that the police are redirecting traffic. But I don't see anyone on the road protesting. It must be an accident or something. Instead of turning around, I follow the taxi driver in front of me (taxi drivers know EVERYTHING in this city).

10:45 am: After discovering a ton of new little side streets, I pass another taxi driver who tells me to turn around. There's no way out of town. Great. Now I am on some street that doesn't have a name and I don't know where I'm going. I turn around and keep going straight. I know I'm parallel to the highway, so eventually I have to run into something I know...right?

11 am: The next thing I know, I can see the mall again. Praise the Lord! I find my way back to Jerico, we put the four gallons of milk in the fridge and laugh about the ridiculousness of all of this,

2:00 pm:Since most of the kids didn't come to school today (because of the paro), we decide to head home early. Saira (our office administrator) is pretty sure that I'll be able to make it out of town if I get on the highway near her house. I load up the milk, drive her home and recieve directions back to the highway.

2:15 pm:I can see the exit...I just don't know yet if I can get through. Turns out I can, Praise the Lord (again)!! Stop at the gasolinera for a Diet Coke and I'm on my way.

3:45 pm: I arrive at the Villa. It's good to be home and back to the calmness of life. The milk is returned to a cool environment. Refridgerators stocked with food, we have internet, cell phones are recharged, the staff is all together...the paro won't affect us here!

9:30 pm: Miriam and I decide to have a late-night snack of cereal and milk. We both agree that the milk does not taste right...perhaps the side-effect of spending the day in a car without air conditioning?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Back To School

All my UW-Eau Claire friends started class today. Although I do miss the "back-to-school" anticipation, I am so thankful that I didn't go through the normal beginning of the semester freak-out/"how am I ever going to graduate?" session in my advisors office.

However, the back-to-school bug must have hit me because I somehow managed to enroll myself in a Bible Class at our church in Tegucigalpa.

Well, that's not entirely true. Elvia came to the Villa and told me that she "had a plan for my life". That plan involved me driving into Tegucigalpa every Monday night for a bible study that she is facilitating.

Bible Study
I don't know if I can truly call it a Bible study. I mean, we are definitely studying the Bible (a lot) but it feels like a university class. Each year contains 4 parts, and each part is 4 weeks long (two hours each week). We have homework to complete each night and a quiz every Monday. At the end of the 14 weeks there is a final exam and class in mandatory.
yup...sounds like a college class to me

My group is mostly 20-somethings and I love each person! In only two weeks, we have connected on a deep level and I feel so comfortable with everyone. Our second week went nearly 3 hours and we didn't even get through all the content! In addition, I have a prayer partner named Mara. She is 32 and used to work in the Japanese embassy! She great and has been so sweet to me: sending me emails and texts of encouragement and of course praying for me.

The content is fast but not too difficult (considering that it's all in Spanish) and I am learning a lot. But the best thing is that this is a total answer to my prayers from the months of February thru June. So many times I had cried out to God for a friend and community. Now I have it. God provided in His perfect timing and I am so thankful!

Each week, we have to memorize a Bible verse and re-write it for the quiz. The first two weeks were pretty easy once I learned the vocabulary. This week's is a doozy...the Lord's prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). Not so difficult in English but Spanish is a whole 'nother level.

»"Padre nuestro que estás en los cielos,
santificado sea tu nombre.
10 Venga tu reino.
Hágase tu voluntad, como en el cielo, así también en la tierra.
11 El pan nuestro de cada día, dánoslo hoy.
12 Perdónanos nuestras deudas,
como también nosotros perdonamosa nuestros deudores.
13 No nos metas en tentación,
sino líbranos del mal,
porque tuyo es el reino,el poder y la gloria,
por todos los siglos. Amén".