Silence

It wasn't intentional, but my life in Honduras has seemed to revolve around numbers. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I always seem to be counting to see if we are all "here".


21: different beds that I have slept in during my time in Honduras.
32: weeks of my bible study at church
18: trips I took to immigration to ask permission to stay in the country
80: minutes driving between Tegucigalpa and the Villa
3: movies in the Narnia series that we have watch countless times
25: pounds in the bag of rice that we buy nearly every week
24: people that we fit in the 15-passenger van for a trip to La Tigra
73: blogs about my adventures

And now just one number remains...FOUR

FOUR
In exactly four weeks, I will be on a plane bound for Atlanta, GA. In four weeks (minus a day) I will be packing two years worth of life into two suitcases. In four weeks there will be tears, and hugs, and a chorus of "Miss Katie, don't go".

And I won't want to go. I will want to stay and continue to be a part of raising a dozen kids. I will want to be here for Kimberly's birthday in December and the beginning of the new school year in February.

But it's not about what I want.
God said "go"
and I went. Now He is calling me home.

"How long?" I ask at three o'clock in the morning when I am on my knees. And there is silence.
"Will I get to see the girls graduate?". And there is silence.
"Who will teach English without me?" And there is silence.
"What am I going to do in the States? Where should I live?" and there is silence.

Silence. Silence. Silence.
I have learned to accept God's silence. It is not because He is punishing me, but rather because He knows that it's not yet time for me to know. He keeps silent before my downpour of questions. He will give me the answers when I am ready and able to receive them. And some time in the future He will begin to answer my questions when I least expect.

Psalm 37:7 says "be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.". In Spanish, the same verse starts out "be silent before the Lord..."


Four weeks...

Four weeks to pack up my things, finish my bible study, say my goodbyes, find my "lost" items, and give the kids their English exams.
Four weeks to be silent before God, trusting in His next steps for my life.