Our first conversation went something like this:
Maribel~ So, you're not really a very strong Christian are you?
Me~ Wait, what? Why do you say that? You don't even know me?
Maribel~ I can just tell. (Long pause) Ok, Matthew 4:16, what does it say?
Me~ Um, I don't know.
Maribel~ You don't know what it is? I can't believe you don't know that verse. What about Psalm 3:11, do you know what that is?
Me~ No, sorry.
FRUSTRATION.
Honestly, one week in with Maribel and I felt like I was losing my mind. She loved to pepper me with bible verses or questions about the Bible to see if I knew the answer and to taunt me if I didn't. She immediately pinpointed my weakness in Spanish and used it to laugh at me. And she refused to let me help her with the baby, even if it meant having to carry him with her everywhere.
REJECTION
My response? Rejection. Fine, if Maribel is going to be mean to me, then I'll just ignore her. Forget that we just heard a sermon about loving our enemy...I mean, Pastor Evert wasn't really talking about situations like this was he? I'm sick of being treated like this, so I'll just ignore her until she starts to be nice to me.
Thank God for Elvia. She of course saw into my heart and suggested that I apologize. Wait, me...I didn't do anything wrong. Why do I have to apologize. Make her apologize first. Nope...I'm not doing it and you can't make me.
CONVICTION
My response to Elvia was a simple: "I don't have time to talk about this, I need to take a shower". Well, the shower is as good a place as any for the Spirit to convict. So here I am washing my hair, I am overcome by sympathy for this woman.
- She is 24-years-old and has 5 children (her first at age 14)
- Her four oldest children has been taken away from her and she lives in fear that someones is going to take away her youngest
- She has be involved in a number of failed relationship with men who told her that they "loved" her, but failed to act in that manner
- She is living in a new place with limited freedom and authorities telling her what to do
- And to top it all off, she has to live with some gringa who doesn't speak Spanish very well!
I don't know all of Maribel's history, but I do know that she is testing us to see if we really love her. To see how far she can push us until we reject her like so many have done before. She's fighting a constant battle with herself...should she leave, or should she stay. She's fighting a battle with us...if she's mean to us, if she hurts us enough, will we kick her out?
(Yes, all of this ran through my mind while I was in the shower...it was a long shower)
So, I decided. I have to apologize to her. And I have to love her. And I have to keep loving her, even if she is mean and nasty to me. Because God has done the same for me.
I went down to apologize to Mari and she beat me to it. She apologized for not trusting me with her son, for treating me badly, etc. And I apologized for rejecting her and for judging her.
And know what? It's better. She's not challenging me as much, she lets me watch Fernando so that she can take a nap or do laundry. We share our lives with each other and our struggles.
God made us to be relational people. It is not His intention for us to reject the love of others or to allow ourselves to feel rejected. And He delights in us, when we freely give our love to others.
I'm not saying things are perfect with Mari, but I do think those two little words "I'm sorry" have made all the difference in our relationship.
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